When I was a little girl (which wasn't that many years ago, really,) I used to dream of studying in one of those Ivy League/Old British Universities.
For only about 16 years of my life, I wanted to do law. And I was aiming to get into one of those supremely old and famous universities like *points above*.
To stand up for the weak and to deal out justice, that was my dream.
Suffice to say, halfway through my last year in school, that dream was shattered by hard facts from people. Facts like what a dog-eat-dog and dog-eat-their-own-puppies world the legal world is.
And how I didn't think I'll be able to be a stellar criminal lawyer that could stand to my own convictions.....
So I gave up my dream and pursued my second dream: design. Which is relly quite a turn from the original dream isn't it?
Though I'm perfectly happy where I am now and know that there is a divine purpose in me being here, a little part of me can't help but wonder, "What if I hadn't given up on my law dream?"
Okay lah, let's not go into the normal avenues like how I wouldn't have met Ally, Lizzie and all the tremendous people I know now okay? Let's just settle outside of people.
Would I be in Harvard Law? Oxford? Yale? Cambridge?
Don't snigger, people, I know my own capabilities.
When I read about how my fellow Malaysians are there, in my dream universities, something deep inside my heart feels this little painful pull. This little painful pull that tells me that they are living my dream.
And that makes me sad.
Now I feel like this little inadequate misfit who doesn't belong in this big, black, building I walk into every day.
I want to realise this dream of mine one day. I really do. I just don't know if I can realise it.
And it'll be different, you know? Walking onto a campus at the age of 25 as compared to being there aged 19/20. Ha and that's if I even get there at that age which I really highly doubt.
Be prepared to see a newspaper clipping of an old grandma aged 75 who completed her life's dream of having a legal degree from Harvard/Yale/Oxford/Cambridge!
This is really quite saddening.
On the other hand, what do you get when you combine a fashion designer with a lawyer?
A pretty wicked combination, in my humble opinion.
Sigh, I dunno la, really. I love what I'm doing now, really, (though it gives me a major headache more often than not), but I just can't help thinking of what I might have missed out on.
For only about 16 years of my life, I wanted to do law. And I was aiming to get into one of those supremely old and famous universities like *points above*.
To stand up for the weak and to deal out justice, that was my dream.
Suffice to say, halfway through my last year in school, that dream was shattered by hard facts from people. Facts like what a dog-eat-dog and dog-eat-their-own-puppies world the legal world is.
And how I didn't think I'll be able to be a stellar criminal lawyer that could stand to my own convictions.....
So I gave up my dream and pursued my second dream: design. Which is relly quite a turn from the original dream isn't it?
Though I'm perfectly happy where I am now and know that there is a divine purpose in me being here, a little part of me can't help but wonder, "What if I hadn't given up on my law dream?"
Okay lah, let's not go into the normal avenues like how I wouldn't have met Ally, Lizzie and all the tremendous people I know now okay? Let's just settle outside of people.
Would I be in Harvard Law? Oxford? Yale? Cambridge?
Don't snigger, people, I know my own capabilities.
When I read about how my fellow Malaysians are there, in my dream universities, something deep inside my heart feels this little painful pull. This little painful pull that tells me that they are living my dream.
And that makes me sad.
Now I feel like this little inadequate misfit who doesn't belong in this big, black, building I walk into every day.
I want to realise this dream of mine one day. I really do. I just don't know if I can realise it.
And it'll be different, you know? Walking onto a campus at the age of 25 as compared to being there aged 19/20. Ha and that's if I even get there at that age which I really highly doubt.
Be prepared to see a newspaper clipping of an old grandma aged 75 who completed her life's dream of having a legal degree from Harvard/Yale/Oxford/Cambridge!
This is really quite saddening.
On the other hand, what do you get when you combine a fashion designer with a lawyer?
A pretty wicked combination, in my humble opinion.
Sigh, I dunno la, really. I love what I'm doing now, really, (though it gives me a major headache more often than not), but I just can't help thinking of what I might have missed out on.
posted by carol @ 4:20 PM
1 Comments:
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