So I just came back from my cousin's wedding dinner in Sarawak Chamber. And no, there was no bad karaoke singing. Thank God for good common sense on their part.
*Sneezes*
The whole event was superb. The couple looked radiant - every bit a newly married couple should look. I've got a gorgeous cousin!
We had some really yummy food.....
Touching speeches....
And a lot of thinking on my part.
The love could so blatantly be felt in the air, as corny as that sounds. The way they looked at each other, the scene was just beautiful.
I mean, recently I've been rather confused about...some things. Like why I am so... attracted to certain people... but yet have such a strong pull to the other. It seemed to all be cleared up just now, though. I think. I hope.
You know what it's like, don't you? You're physically attracted to this one person, probably because he just releases more pheremones or whatever than the other. But hey, that's just attraction, you get me?
On the other hand, there's the other quiet one whom you've always really respected. He's not that goodlooking, but there are qualities about him, his personality, his character that shines through all that.
So when you're face with that dilemma...at some point, what you've always known will just come back to you: Physical attraction is temporal. But something else...the other thing, whatever you want to call it: like/love/strong like..It lasts. It just does.
Though sometimes you get so darned frustrated because he is something like the world's coldest person... (which he actually isn't, but you have no idea why he's like that towards you) you don't take (that much) offence anyway.
And when you actually have one of those rare, decent, friendly conversations with him in which he actually replies in intelligent language, instead of the guy-language of monosyllabic 'uh's, 'yeah's and 'uh-huh's... you walk away happier than you were before because you talked, no matter how dumb that sounds.
When you watch him interact with other people, and see how he treats them, you begin to have newfound respect for him.
But you know what else?
His best interests become important to you. You do see his shortcomings, but accept them because hey, no one's perfect. Not you, not him, not anyone.
You will never read this, I know, because you don't bother. You never do. But that's fine with me. I still have a long way to travel. God's molding me to become that woman, that special woman He knows I can be.
Who I'm molded now to complement, I don't know.
It could be you.
Or maybe not.
But I am content in the knowledge that there IS someone. And I trust God to reveal it to me when the time comes.
As for now, let me learn how to be a young woman after God's own heart.
posted by carol @ 11:30 PM
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