Friday, March 10, 2006

A stroll down memory lane.....

I was initially wondering if I should post this. But an email from James chased away any lingering doubts. This is because in his weekly email to intercessors, James exhorted us to remember the good things God has done in ours lives.

And that, is exactly what I'm going to do.

Though I was raised in a Christian family, I don't think I ever really knew Christ until I was about eleven. And even though I knew God was real, and though I held 'positions' in youth and stuff, my life wasn't exactly glorifying God.

I put on facades in church, or at least, sometimes I did. Then the minute I was around family, the monster in me surfaced.

The number of times I ran away from home - or at least tried to - but never succeeded.

Those afternoons spent walking around Kuching alone, contemplating life, wondering why my life seemed to be so screwed up.

Shouting, screaming, fighting at/with my parents, and just barely drawing the line at serious cursing, which I used behind their back anyway. Everything. Anything. I had my language in full Technicolour glory.

The times I stared at the blade, fantasized about suicide, wondering how people were to react if I were to really go ahead and do it.

But God never gave up on me

I fell countless times, went through endless counselling sessions. My stubborn self prevailed.

But He never gave up on me

And how can I not love God for who He is, after all He's done for me? How can I not?

I am who I am today because of God. He took me, molded me, and rescued me from The Other Side. I have no doubt whatsoever if not for His endless love, and everlasting grace, I would be a really horrible person today.

And He's still molding me.. still changing me. And for that, I love Him even more.

Thank you, Lord, for never, ever giving up on me. Words couldn't express the love I have for You, and all the stars in the sky couldn't express the love You have for me!


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