It's official.
I have moved!
Come to think of it, I don't even know how it happened. Oh, that's right, Bernard was promoting the wonders of Wordpress. =.+"
I imported my entries from Blogger over too, but not everything. I chose to only keep the ones that really mean something. The rest... will remain here. :)
Blogspot has served me well, I must admit, but I'm moving on to new and bigger things. A new tagline, a new subject title, and a new direction.
Meaning no more less meaningless posts, and more posts that would be able (I hope) to strike a chord in your heart and help you look at life in a different way.
God is ever-faithful. :)
So move on over, and give me a shoutout once you're there okay? :)
Cheers all!
So, should I move to Wordpress?
Hahaha I blame you for that. :)
I feel like I had two discipleship sessions tonight: first, my real one with Ally, Liz and Judy, and later another one with Bernard while we were yam char-ing. So I apparently do learn stuff from him after all... :)
But really lor, what I learnt tonight was a lot. I have a lot to do, I really need to step up.
So let me draw closer to God first... I must admit, I've got a lot of catching up to do. Have been a little, well, slacked this week.. cannot continue like that.
Death happens.
It comes, just when you least expect it, like a shadow in the night. It sweeps silently, robbing people of joy and laughter. It steals away some of the most beautiful, engaging personalities you've ever met. It shows that in the end, there is nothing that can deny everyone the only certainty in life: One will die in the end.
I woke up to the unpleasant and sad news that a beautiful person had passed away today.
For those of you from Kuching, especially if you are from St Faith's, you would know who Aunty Jacqueline was. Though somewhere through life, her growth had stopped, leaving her only the height of a 6-7year old, it didn't stop her personality from being larger than life.
What a beautiful person she was. Children and adults both loved her. Those of us from St Faith's Kindy and Sunday School adored her.
"Oh look, Carolyn, you are so much taller than me now!" she would say, grabbing ahold of my hand. "How are you now? Are you doing good in your studies?"
Small, but what a beautiful and powerful voice she had. She served in the church choir for years. I'd always looked forward to gazing at the choir stands on Sundays, hoping to catch a glimpse of her in the red choir robes, singing praises unto her Creator. How she loved using her voice to glorify God!
Whatever she had that had been given to God by her, she used it to glorify Him. Size and stature did not stop her from trying to do her best for Him.
His lord said to him, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful over a few things; I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord." Matthew 25:21
Now He has called her home. I'll miss aunty Jac so much... the knowledge that when I go back, Kuching would be devoid of such a beautiful person, a person who has blessed us all with her life for many years. I don't think she was older than 50 years.
But, oh, what a gain for Heaven! And after so many years of accomplishing God's purpose for her here on earth, I know for sure that she is going to stand tall as those golden gates swing forth to admit her, and the trumpets herald the arrival of good and faithful servant. I delight in the knowledge that the King himself is going to arise from His throne, stretch out His arms, and welcome her home.
Well done, good and faithful servant.....
I'll miss you, Aunty Jac. But till we meet again.....
A stroll down memory lane.....
I was initially wondering if I should post this. But an email from James chased away any lingering doubts. This is because in his weekly email to intercessors, James exhorted us to remember the good things God has done in ours lives.
And that, is exactly what I'm going to do.
Though I was raised in a Christian family, I don't think I ever really knew Christ until I was about eleven. And even though I knew God was real, and though I held 'positions' in youth and stuff, my life wasn't exactly glorifying God.
I put on facades in church, or at least, sometimes I did. Then the minute I was around family, the monster in me surfaced.
The number of times I ran away from home - or at least tried to - but never succeeded.
Those afternoons spent walking around Kuching alone, contemplating life, wondering why my life seemed to be so screwed up.
Shouting, screaming, fighting at/with my parents, and just barely drawing the line at serious cursing, which I used behind their back anyway. Everything. Anything. I had my language in full Technicolour glory.
The times I stared at the blade, fantasized about suicide, wondering how people were to react if I were to really go ahead and do it.
But God never gave up on me
I fell countless times, went through endless counselling sessions. My stubborn self prevailed.
But He never gave up on me
And how can I not love God for who He is, after all He's done for me? How can I not?
I am who I am today because of God. He took me, molded me, and rescued me from The Other Side. I have no doubt whatsoever if not for His endless love, and everlasting grace, I would be a really horrible person today.
And He's still molding me.. still changing me. And for that, I love Him even more.
Thank you, Lord, for never, ever giving up on me. Words couldn't express the love I have for You, and all the stars in the sky couldn't express the love You have for me!
As usual, I have a S.H.O.R.T update. Though I have work to do. Hee...
I'm taking a family portrait with my cousins, grandma and various uncles and aunties on Saturday. I am so excited, because we've never taken a family portrait before! :) And plus this is a gem of an opportunity because Vivian is back! :)
Had an interesting today at band dynamic with the second and third team. Learnt a lot, in both the spiritual sense and technical sense of playing. So happy okay! Plus, I have overcome a little bit of my fear of playing while Kel watches.. hurray! Teehee.
CUZA IS BACK!!!!! I almost forgot, until I went into the sanctuary a little bit after arriving. I heard drums, and immediately I remembered. Then I saw that purple bag of his.. hee... I was sooo happy I rushed over to the drums immediately to give him a hug. It's so good to see him back here! But! He owes me a Rhumba frappe with extra rhumba chips now... ahaha.. :) It's good to see him at the drums again, great to be playing with him again. I've always loved to play with him. We click well. I think. :P
Outreach at Cyberia tomorrow night. Theme: Love. I need to call up people to invite them...
In the LIVE Book this year, there was a section where I was able to do a small test to determine my love languages. And true enough, words of affirmation were my main love language. That means I'm a person that like to encourage through notes, letters etc. And I like to receive encouragement - both verbally and in writing. As opposed to those who like gifts and stuff la.
Anyway, the point is that I am very happy because three very important and influential people in my life did that both yesterday and today! :) It spurs me on to do better. And gives me a euphoric high if but for a few days.
It was a really busy day for me today.
Went for class this morning, and finished off my skirt pattern for Garment Construction class. Rushed down to KL after that with Maril so that I could buy fabric and she could take pictures.We visited Jln Hang Tuah as well as Masjid Jamek area.
I, for the first time in my life, bought fabric from Euro Moda today! Just fyi, Euro Moda is like THE shop, THE five-star place to buy fabric. You get branded fabric from all over, and the prices range from RM10+ a meter to RM1000+ per meter. So yeah, go figure. :)
But! Euro Moda is on SALE! Till the end of March! And the word S.A.L.E. appeals to any girls' senses. So in I went, and out I came with fabric samples that cost me RM78. For 3 meters worth of cloth. I got chiffon georgette and organza. Immense discounts! I wouldn't have been able to afford them otherwise.
But nevermind about that. I know Merr's probably laughing now, because she got to witness me buy fabric first-hand. I go nuts when I see nice fabric. "Oooh! Look! So pretty! So soft!"
Of course in a more refined and dignified manner, that is. ;)
So now I need Azren to approve it so I can B.U.Y. more before the sale ends...
Had discipleship with girls today. :)
Anyway, will be staying over in my granny's tomorrow. My cousin Vivian's back from London! I haven't seen her since Form5... So home I go, to TLC and Astro... but no Internet la. :)
Assignments. Chilling time is over. Now I gotta shower and start with Visual Merchandising.....
Quick one.
Went shopping cum research today (ha! Only when you're studying fashion! Lol) and bought a new pair of wedge heels. 70% discount, what girl can resist that, especially when the normal price is something that is totally out of the your realm of reach?
Had a very disturbing and discomforting realisation as well, which snapped me back to reality, and caused me to have to slap myself a couple of times for allowing such a thing to happen.
Carol you silly girl, you.
I shall now proceed to bury myself in work. Need to remain focused. Cannot think about things.
Assignments have never sounded so sweet.
Happy Birthday, Bee Sean!
Just to surprise her, we acted like normal yesterday night after SNL, forcing everyone to go back on the bus. Then after supper, we hung around for awhile more in Aaron's place before heading to Millenium around 12.30am to surprise the girl. (Wanted her to think we'd either forgotten, or had no plans for her. Heh.)
Liaised with her housemates, crept into her house, and surprised her in her room! I enjoyed that tremendously. After that, we did the 'usual', getting her to sit down in the middle of the living room while we encouraged her, telling her things about her that impacted us. Then, I asked her to share about one way God changed her last year, and her hopes for this year. Finally, we prayed for her. :)
Went for dinner with her and her housemates just now. Nine of us in total: Chiam, Liz, Maril, Me, Christy, Adeline and Marisah. It was at her request, because she wanted us to get to know them better. We had chicken and pizza at Shakey's.
Blogger's being mean, and doesn't want to upload the pictures, so head over to my Multiply okay? :)
Class tomorrow. Need to do more research so that Azren doesn't wring my neck off, considering I don't have fabric samples for him. Heh. :D Goodnight, everyone!
Edit: Oh, do drop by Daryl's page to read his account of her birthday surprise at her house and view pictures! All taken with the camera on his handphone. :) And please don't be traumatised by some of the (vain) pictures. Even though i almost died when I saw them.
P/s Oh, if you're reading this, PC.. uhms.. WELCOME! eheks.. hehe.. :P
Once again, it's an internal battle. Should I post this? But ah well, I shall. If it speaks to you, then I've accomplished my purpose.
Over the course of the two years, beginning of three years I've been here in BigbadKl, various people have come up to me at different times, pointing out things in my life that aren't right. So many, in fact, that I have lost count.
I remember the first time it happened. I was in her car, and she was driving me back. At that point in time, I was quite new to the place - only a couple of months, I think. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she blurted out "Carol, why do you like to please people so much? Who do you really want to please? People or God?"
She continued to point out several things about me that I'd either not noticed, or didn't want to know. Oh, how I reacted.
"You don't know me well enough yet"
"You don't understand me"
"You have no right to say such things about me"
"I am not like that" I said.
When I arrived home, I proceeded to message several people, complaining about the sheer injustice of the situation. How could she accuse me of things like that? I received several replies, of which I took to be people agreeing with me. Hah! You want to think that about me? I'll show you!
Then I sat down to email her, listing out why she was wrong. She replied - I don't know what - but I remember thinking really hard about it.
Fast forward a few months. As I allowed God to work in my life, as I decided to really surrender myself to His Lordship, the truth hit me like a bolt out of the blue. I remember saying something one day, and as if I were a third person, I saw myself. And I realised how exactly accurate she was. Totally. And that coming from someone who'd only knew me for awhile.
I didn't rebel from that day on.
You see right, the people whom we've known for sometime could already be used to the way we are. So much so, they are probably immune to it. But it doesn't mean that we can stay that way. What about people who have just known us for awhile? What kind of impression is that? Yeah, sure, you could have a million and one sob stories to justify your character, but isn't all these a choice?
You have a choice to let go of it all, and change. I've known people who've been through immense tragedies in their life, but they didn't become bitter about it. It's all about choices.
People tell you because they care. Why should they otherwise? That's what we're called to do, especially as brothers and sisters. Point out things that could cause others to stumble. Things in our life that are not right in the eyes of God.
Love the sinner, but not the sin. Christ loves us just as we are, but at the same time, because He loves us, He wants us to change.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone and the new has come," 2Corinthians 5:17
The new has come! Let go of the old habits and mannerisms, they belong in the past. That painful past which Christ has since taken upon His own shoulders. Bring about a new change in attitude. Why cling on to the things of the past? Why let it hinder you from moving forward? It's not that He hasn't taken them away, the question is, have you really allowed Him to remove the past from you, or are you clinging on to it?
Why cling?
I care, that's why I let the people I care about know about things in their life that I feel isn't right. It's not that I want to go against you. You can be mad at me, but I'd rather you be mad at me than God at me. And the fact that I dare to do these kind of things show the changes in me, because Carol the People-Pleaser would NEVER, EVER have dared to say anything that would piss others off.
It's been two years here. And since, a lot of people, especially those I've known since long ago have remarked on how much I've changed. And once again, all the glory goes to God. I allowed Him to work in my life. Gold has to be put through fire in order for it to be so shiny and sparkling.
Why not you? Why react this way?
But in the same way no one ever gave up on me, in the same way so many people gave me grace, I will wait. I'm sorry you're not happy at me, but I had to do what I did. And I believe, I really believe, that one day you'll come to understand this. I'll never give up on you - you matter that much to me. It hurts me to see our friendship this way now, but love always never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Above all, love never fails. Remember that.
Just some pictures from the heartdog party held yesterday at Cyberia.
Check out the sunset view near the tennis courts of Cyberia. YES! Tennis courts! And they have a bball and badminton court too...
I tell you, Cyberia is more like a resort.... each block has its own pool...
Taking some hotdogs.....
These vainpots wanted to pose, so we obliged them ;)
Aaron sharing the story about the most perfect heart.
Teaser only... I tell you, you want the good pictures, head to Multiply.. ;)
Anyway, I just came back from ENLI. There was Spiritual Disciplines class, as well as Discipleship 2. I took Discipleship 2, as I've been through Spiritual Disciplines already. Twice. :)
The class was so good. But I need to remember to review my notes, and remember the fact that the class is just the beginning. Now I need to go out and make more, and better disciples! I need to learn to be more fruitful. This is my last year in LUCT man! I have to make it count! I need to leave a lasting impact, a legacy in the college. So God please, please give me the grace.....
There's tracting tomorrow. I so want to sleep in though... even right now, I am debating internally whether or not I should go. This week has bene horrendously tiring. Sigh...
But it's SNL tomorrow! I always feel the happiest on Saturdays! :)
I'm debating internally whether to ask this question. But oh heck, I'll just ask it anyway. Give me your opinions alright?
Do girls have a natural ability to flirt with guys? Without even realising it?
I'll give you my two cents worth: A resounding yes, YES, YES!!! Though it isn't intentional, I really think girls (especially if they want something... etc) do. I find myself doing that. Especially with guys I just meet.
Hrmmm. Not good, not good. Must learn to watch my own body language. Don't want people to get the wrong ideas. But I must admit that the naughty part of me really enjoys it and the results.
Okay, okay, enough about that. But your two cents worth also, okay? Maybe even three cents! :D I want to know what you think 'flirting' means, when it happens, and how. And the results! How do the guys/girls respond? ;P
The hotdog party was okay. It wasn't really what we expected or hoped for, but I don't doubt God. He works in funny ways. He's done that before in the past, and I know He will do it again.
As for me, it was a great learning experience. The whole coordination thing, learning how to plan things properly, delegating (sort of) tasks, and planning what to share about spiritual life. Really superb.
Hah. And you know why I have to delegate? Because like how wonderful Bernard puts it, his version of 'delegating' is this:
Carol Yong: Everything
Lovely. Simply lovely. :P
But seriously? I hope to have more opportunities to do these kind of things. More responsibilities. Because I know I also need to polish up my sense of responsibility. Plus I like feeling trusted by people to do things.
Anyway, assigns call. Take care, everyone!
Right, just a quick update. Got loads of assigns to complete. Well, actually just one, but I'm one day late for it already. Blame exhaustion.....
Hotdog Party in Cyberia tomorrow! I am VERY excited. A lot of people seem to be staying there now, so really looking forward to a great harvest from that side. Starts 7.30pm at the Cyberia multipurpose hall (Next to Block A3's swimming pool).
Been downloading stuff from Limewire. Heh. Piracy? ;)
The week hasn't been tha eventful yet. I've mainly been busy with planning the hotdog party, and assignments. But all is still well.
Cannot spend so much time online d, haha.
Right, gotta run. Got bookmarks to finish making for tomorrow's party. As well as that Visual Merchandising assignment.
Happy 19th Birthday, Lyne! May the year ahead be full of blessings showered from above. And may you get into the course of your heart's desire! ;) *hugs*
