Watch out, Malaysian men. Below is a post targeted at you.
Malaysian men are utterly ungentlemenly. They couldn't care less about the welfare of us women, as they are just too preoccupied with their little bits of life that they fail to see that there are people around them who desperately need help.
Take what happpened this morning to me for example:
I was waiting for the KLIA Transit in the airport. I had with me a huge luggage bag, a monitor box weighing 18kgs, and 2 paper bags. They were sitting happily in trolley until the train arrived.
Then I needed to move those things on.
Now right, it wouldn't have been much of a problem if the doors of the stupid trains hadn't insisted on closing every 5 seconds or so. So there I was, a girl, struggling with extremely heavy luggage, trying to load them into the train. And there were these...CREATURES called Malaysian men all around me, boarding and exiting the train. Passing right by me. Did they even bother to HELP?
NO.
They just went on with their little businesses. All caught up with life. Forgetting things called 'morals', 'civics' and 'courtesy'.
It was a lady who helped me get the things on.
What's wrong with you, Malaysian men?
Oh I know, us women always ask for equality and yeah, equality is needed in some areas e.g. jobs. But surely you should retain some of your maleness and be chivalrous enough to help a lady?
Or have you guys always been such apes?
I don't mind if you do it with a sour face, really, because it's better than nothing right? But to be in my position today, having truckloads of the male species just walk past me that way with stopping to help... it was just horrible!
It happens on the Metrobus too. Young men sit on the seats while pregnant and old ladies cling on for their dear lives no thanks to the crazy antics of the bus drivers.
In my 2 years here, and in countless Metrobus seats, I have yet to see a single male rise up graciously, and offer his seat to a lady in need. Not even to an old, almost blind and probably rheumatic uncle.
However, at the risk of sounding prejudiced, I would say that maybe those people can be given a bit of a leeway because they don't exactly look educated. No offence, but Metrobus-patrons will understand. So they are kind of excused.
But those educated, distinguished-looking men with briefcases, ties, shiny, polished shoes and suits in KLIA today?
There's no excuse.
Malaysian men, you should be ashamed of yourself.
This Merdeka, why don't you be different? Be corteous to women around you. Start a new Malaysian culture. Don't mempersia-soikan the name of our country. After all, the last time I checked, we're 15 years away from Vision 2020, not still living in the Stone Age.
Edited: I know a minute amount of you guys out there are actually gentlemen, and I appreciate that. Thank you. But could please teach your fellow species the art of being a gentleman please?
I'm supposed to be packing.....I leave in
seven six hours.
But I'm like, Carol, you know? SO naturally I leave my packing till three hours before I leave. Or something along those lines la.
I work better under a tight deadline. Which does not justify last minute work for assignments, though. That cannot be done last minute. Or you die. Yours truly has done one too much of that in previous semesters.
So it's been a good trip back...what with seeing lovely cousins and making restitution and yes, even the horrid nightmare. But I suppose good came out of that. It's strengthened my stand that sex should only be saved for marriage.
I have 10 designs and fabric swatches due on 1September. I'm dead. When am I going to have the time to get stupid fabric swatches for that
idiot Azren?! bah.
Ian titi is the sweetest. *hugs* :)
Max L. remember what I said! :)
Bye bye, beloved hometown till end of December. Christmas will be in big, bad KL for me this year. Large production for Christmas. I'm not going to miss this for the world!
Cheers, loved ones!
Warning: This is a dream. Okay, more like a nightmare. So yeah...it's not real.
I had a nightmare this morning that I got pregnant.
Like, wtheck?! How on earth did I even get pregnant in the first place?! All I remember is (somehow or other) getting pregnant (no doubt by some idiot pervert) and delivering a little baby girl.
It was so real. Terrifying, really. Though it was a dream, I could vividly feel the turmoil of emotions running through me. I felt so alone, so scared. I was so sad because I felt that I'd disappointed my parents.
Keeping it a secret from my parents was the hardest part, though it wasn't so hard considering that I was still in KL then.
After I delivered the little girl, I had to come back to Kuching for a holiday. So what I did was to hide my little girl in my room in KL and come home. Not letting her be taken care of by anyone, no food, no anything. So I suppose, in a sense, I'd abandoned her.
So there I was, a new mother, back in her hometown without her parents or anyone knowing that they were grandparents.
It was torture. I was so anxious about the wellbeing of my little girl, yet so scared of telling my parents. Until one night when I was with my mum, sleeping together with her.
I started crying, and she asked me what was wrong. I couldn't bring myself to tell her, and it took her quite awhile to persuade me. Finally, I managed to whimper, 'Mummy, I have a little girl.'
She didn't say anything, but just asked gently, 'Where is she now?' as if she had known something like this all along.
In KL, mummy, all alone in my room and I'm so worried about her!' At this, I just burst out in a flood of tears as my mum held me.
I woke up crying, anxious, feeling so alone. My mum who was next to me (I was with my mum yesterday night) woke up immediately, being the mother that she is, and calmed me, asking me what nightmare I had.
Though it was a dream, I couldn't bring myself to tell her what occured.
The emotions were so real, people. I found myself checking my memory to confirm that I
1.was not pregnant
2.never was pregnant
3.did not leave a little baby girl in KL.
I have no idea what the significance of the dream was, but I think I have one message I want to carry to everyone who comes by this site.
DON'T do anything silly, girls, and get yourself pregnant beforehand.
Yeah, I know, they say that all the time. But if you could feel what I felt during the dream (and goodness, that was SOME dream), then trust me, you don't want to feel that in real life.
The anxiety. The overwhelming guilt. The sadness. The fear.
I was so scared that my little girl had died in that dream nightmare because I hadn't left her in the care of anyone.
(Nightmare, because dreams are supposed to be pink, soft, fluffy, and made of cotton-candy and everything nice)
Even now, as I sit here, I feel those little maternal instincts, that sense of love for this (nonexistent) little girl of mine.
And I empathise with all those who've been through the horror of having to conceal something like this from their loved ones.
Why, people? Why? Having a child should be the most joyous occasion of your life! You should have all your relatives with you, beaming at the sight of their first grandchild/niece etc. They should all be there, cooing at the sight of the precious little darling, making those cutesy-wutesy baby-talk.
You deserve to throw a big party to celebrate your baby turning one month old (in line with Chinese tradition).
You should have a loving husband by your side, looking in joyous wonder at the little angel he helped bring into this world.
You should be there every little step of the way for her. Her first few steps. First words. Schooling. Pre-teens. Horror teen years. All the way till you breathe your last. Then she will be there, mourning the passing of a wonderful mother.
What should not happen is this:
1. Having to hand your little girl over to some strangers to be adopted.
2.Not having a chance to watch her grow up, hug her, share in her most significant moments.
3.Feeling all sorts of regret because ONE moment of pleasure, ONE fleeting moment of carelessness resulted in a LIFETIME of sadness and guilt.
That's not the way life should be, girls out there. Not at all.
Why throw all you have away? Is it even worth it?
Not in my opinion.
So think about it. Think hard about it. And make wise choices.
Lead your life with no apologies.
First of all, let me warn everyone that I've come down with a flu...and pre-fever. I feel rotten. But I must blog. Woohoo for blogging! :P
So I just came back from my cousin's wedding dinner in Sarawak Chamber. And no, there was no bad karaoke singing. Thank God for good common sense on their part.
*Sneezes*
The whole event was superb. The couple looked radiant - every bit a newly married couple should look. I've got a gorgeous cousin!
We had some really yummy food.....
Touching speeches....
And a lot of thinking on my part.
The love could so blatantly be felt in the air, as corny as that sounds. The way they looked at each other, the scene was just beautiful.
And all I could think about then was youI mean, recently I've been rather confused about...some things. Like why I am so...
attracted to certain people... but yet have such a strong pull to the other. It seemed to all be cleared up just now, though. I think. I hope.
You know what it's like, don't you? You're physically attracted to this one person, probably because he just releases more pheremones or whatever than the other. But hey, that's just
attraction, you get me?
On the other hand, there's the other quiet one whom you've always really respected. He's not
that goodlooking, but there are qualities about him, his personality, his character that shines through all that.
So when you're face with that dilemma...at some point, what you've always known will just come back to you: Physical attraction is temporal. But something else...the other thing, whatever you want to call it: like/love/strong like..It lasts. It just does.
Though sometimes you get so darned frustrated because he is something like the world's coldest person... (which he actually isn't, but you have no idea why he's like that towards you) you don't take (that much) offence anyway.
And when you actually have one of those rare, decent, friendly conversations with him in which he actually replies in intelligent language, instead of the guy-language of monosyllabic 'uh's, 'yeah's and 'uh-huh's... you walk away happier than you were before because you
talked, no matter how dumb that sounds.
When you watch him interact with other people, and see how he treats them, you begin to have newfound respect for him.
But you know what else?
His best interests become important to you. You do see his shortcomings, but accept them because hey, no one's perfect. Not you, not him, not anyone.
You will never read this, I know, because you don't bother. You never do. But that's fine with me. I still have a long way to travel. God's molding me to become
that woman, that special woman He knows I can be.
Who I'm molded now to complement, I don't know.
It could be you.
Or maybe not.
But I am content in the knowledge that there IS someone. And I trust God to reveal it to me when the time comes.
As for now, let me learn how to be a young woman after God's own heart.
Chinese weddings are insane. They go on a whole day.
I've been up since 7am and I've only been granted a temporary reprieve to get ready for the dinner tonight.
I hope there's no bad karaoke singing tonight. I don't think I can take it. My head's throbbing already.
On the bright side, my cousin looked beautiful. And her husband is good-looking too. Matching couple.
They've been courting for
seven years! Seven friggin' years! Wow...they started when she was 19.
That's my age this year. ;)
Look people, pictures!
The Chinese have too many traditions. Where and when to take off the veil. Who to drink the tea first. What to say. Fuiyoh...how to remember?
Anyway. More updates later. Time to wash hair...etc.
I'm back in Kuching. Back in the land of RM2 food, yummy drinks and most importantly, family.
The cousin's wedding is tomorrow. My mum, sis and I were having fun playing dress-up. I have my
first ever LBD, people! It's a knee-length halter. Sweet.
I need to go off to sleep now. I'll wash and blow-dry my hair tomorrow morning, or should I say, 5 hours from now. Goodness, I am conked.
Was supposed to bring back my beloved baby, but I left her in Bern's car. The horror. He called me when I was already on the ERL and went, '
Uh, Carol? You left your...black thing here,'
'Black thing?'
'
Yeah...the one you called your baby?'
'Oh my goodness.........!!!!!'
Sigh. At least she's in safe hands...I think. *Stares daggers at Bern*
Don't even THINK of a new laptop, Bern! :D
I had kolo mee already. And I won't get to see Kenneth, Jackee's twin. That's sad. I wanted to see if the twin is as
eurgh goodlooking as he is. Heh. Kidding. Really. :)
J is goodlooking and he knows it.
Anyway, the time is playing havoc with my brain. And I need to look my most gorgeous for tomorrow! And since I'm back home, it'll be pictures galore, people! :)
Warning: Don't step on this girl's tail today. For your sanity and hers.
This is insane. It's just about a month into semester and I'm already having those long late nights with just about 2-3 hours of sleep. I have dark circles under my eyes!!!!! For those of you who know me, you know that I don't get dark circles easily! What's going on?
1. I'm not having enough sleep.
2. I'm getting old.
Boohoo.... *wails*
Anyway. I must share this: I went to listen to Bill Wilson yesterday! That is majorly cool okay? He's such an amazing man...the life that he leads, the things that he does, the things he's been through. It's like...wow. He's straightforward like nobody's business, but hey, people who've seen what he has, and been through his life aren't the type who would beat around the bush, are they? Take it or leave it, that's what they're usually like.
Bought his VCD that's entitled 'Streets of Pain'. It comes with a warning sticker because of the explicit, unedited scenes inside. It's a very real look on the life of the inner city kids in Brooklyn that he's reaching out to.
He signed my VCD and 2 calenders! I was so overwhelmed with his ministry I was at a loss for words. Therefore, I just looked at him and went 'I don't know what to say....' And get what he did: He grasped my shoulders, looked at me in the eyes and said 'You don't need to...thank you...Pray for me.'
WAHLIU EH! KENG CHAO STATEMENT OKAY?!
Such an amazing servant of God.
Okay. Then we went back and had supper in Chiam's place. Leftovers of the dinner she hosted for Debby tonight. Oh before that we went to some mamak in Jalan Gasing..but... Their sambal was nice but that was about it. And I closed my banana leaf away from me, if you know what that means.
Got inspiration for my work on the way to the mamak...so when we reached home I proceeded to work on my ideas until 6am. That was when I knew I had to sleep because:
(a) I bumped into a million things. The table, the door, you name it. (Okay some people might at this point argue that I am memang clumsy one... yes... but this was more than usual okay?) :/
(b) I had that weird feeling in my chest. The one that tells me if I don't sleep now I'll be an emo-wreck the next morning. I still have that feeling, but more stable. Not on an emo-trip..yet.
(c) THE DARK CIRCLES LA! My goodness, so horrible okay!
Loads of work to do. Cherie Voon, I'm officially kind of stressed out. :)
Sewing my cheongsam test-fit. Going off for lunch now. Will be in college till 6pm, unless I finish my work before that. After that it's to Pizza Hut IOI (argh, again?! Imagine the calories!) for Lizzie's farewell for Debby. That girl's getting loads of farewells. :P
Well, have fun people. And pray that I don't go all emo today. I'm always extra careful when I don't have enough sleep because I'm very, very weak then, with a short fuse and whatnot.
I'm off! :)
Early feedback I've been getting from the people who went for the workshop and concert is really good.I'm so happy that Kuching has been blessed by 1am.. after all, that is our mission:"Our mission is to inspire worship and affect the media and performing arts, leading people to embrace the presence of GOD."
Yep! And I am so glad that it has been accomplished in Kuching. And I must say that I feel so honoured to be part of this ministry that really seeks to impact people.But do leave me some comments, if you guys happened to be there in Kuching then. I would really love to hear from you guys. Okay? :)
Mmm look. Picture. I stole this from Max's Friendster site, and I want to try posting photos here. This is taken during the 1DAY Faith Over Fear event. 6 August 2005.
Max aptly named it '1DAY, 1Family'. I couldn't agree more. The picture, by the way is that of those of us from LUCT (yes, I'm even counting in Steven, our dear not-so-young campus minister HAHA.. can you tell which one he is? The guy in black shirt and blue jeans in front of me, by the way. Can't really tell that he's a good 38 years old with an 11-month old daughter, can you? :P) who stayed over in church that night to pray for the event. The rest hadn't arrived at that point in time. I suppose it was one of those moments where an innocent few people wanted to take a photo, but when the others saw it (the narcissists we all are) decided to crash the photo. Hence... *points above* I think we switched poses at least 5 times as well. Ha.
Bill Wilson's in town! He's the guy who pioneers some huge Sunday School thing for the inner city kids in New York. He has 20,000 kids under his wing man! Inspiring guy. Therefore, Ally, Ju, Liz and I are going to be listening to him speak in Wisma MCA Ampang tomorrow night for our discipleship. Way cool.
Switching pcs to the front of the class because Pres Tech is going to start. Will edit later.
Okay, I'm back. And I feel inspired to edit now, so I will. Even though I'm supposed to be doing assignments in class, i.e. photoshopping some pictures.
Debbie's leaving back for Indonesia this week. That's sad. :( Who ask architorture course in LUCT to be so good/crappy (really, it's quite good but...) till she has to go back to Indo to study? Bah. Anyway, we're having a little farewell thingy for her this Wednesday. A hush-hush event, of course. What else?
Lost the inspiration, haha. Back to Photoshop for now. Lecturer just said this exercise is worth 20 friggin' marks! Goodbye, people. (I have 2 weeks to finish this in-class assignment. Gah.) 20 marks?!
Eeee it's the workshop today! So exciting la...hehe...
I learnt from Lyne just yesterday that 1am would be going to my church on Monday evening to do something! I'm so excited about that, I had no idea that there would be something like that going on. (Summore Lyne told me that that Cuz thought I paksa them wan..haha..Cuz..don't you know by now that they can't be paksa-ed wan? And I don't paksa my leaders wan! :D)
See? It's all a divine plan. Heheh.....
Woke up late this morning for YOF meeting. So I was like one hour late. My goodness. Thank God PC wasn't there, haha. But Sharon was! And she was like 'Hah! You're here! What is sin to you?'
Wahlau eh talk about putting people on the spot okay? I was like 'Uh... *sweats blood* Not doing something you know you should do?'
It was only a quarter correct, by the way.
Going down to Subang Jaya to pick up my blood test and urine test results. Hopefully everything's okay.
Enjoy workshop and concert, people! :) Wish I were there!
I just came from a very, very, exclusive, top-secret, highly confidential meeting. The college is involved with Lancome on something. Yes, the makeup/fragrances company. Yes, all the fashion students are involved, including yours truly. And yes, I know what their cosmetics line for Spring/Summer 2006 will be. ;)
And yes, I'm bound by a contract I just signed so my lips are sealed.
Interesting. These kind of things are exactly why I don't think I made a wrong decision in (a) choosing fashion design for my tertiary education (b) choosing to come to Limkokwing, as sucky as it can be sometimes.
You see right, somewhere along the 15years or so LUCT has been established, they've (somehow) managed to build quite a reputation for producing creative talents. Therefore, whenever anything of prestige happens in Malaysia, the college is approached. Like this LCDA competition. LUCT is the only college in Malaysia to be involved. Cool, yes?
Anyway, there's a tight deadline to adhere to. And a very juicy prize. The top 3 from each country (12 are involved) would get to go to Paris for the Paris Spring/Summer 2006 Fashion Week to showcase their designs. Now how cool is that, you tell me?! That means they'll get to be on the same catwalk as Chanel...Gucci...Prada...Alexander McQueen...Versace... Oh and the winner gets to study in Central Saint Martins College in London! CSM! That's like, my dream college to attend okay?
*Drools*
Well...I don't know how to take this news, really. I mean, I'm majorly excited by it...but I do want to proceed with caution. As in, I don't want to talk about what I'm doing etc (I can't anyway) and stuff like that in case The Disastrous Event repeats itself.
And don't ask me what The Disastrous Event was. I think the name speaks for itself.
Well, I'm off! I have lots of things to do. This semester is nothing short of insane, I tell you. If I don't make the finals for this, I have 6 garments to complete. If I do, I have 10. Now congratulate me and book me a room in Pantai Medical please because I'm going to need the best medical care by December.
I'm very, very sleepy. *Big panda eyes*
I'm dying for my Internet access. I really, really need to call up that dumb streamyx office to make them come and give me my deserved streamyx. Then life would be so much easier for me!
Because you see right, here are the benefits of my having Streamyx:
1. I can do my research at home. Better speed, easier to use. You get my point.
2. I can blog more! No need to refresh each page a million times.
3. No time limit! But that might be bad because I can't slack this semester.
4. I can use MSN messenger! Oh you have no idea how deprived I am of communication with people who are far far away. Like Nick. :( Yes and Lyne too. Feli. Just in case I get 'OI YOU FORGOT ME' comments. ;)
5. I can actually change my template and what not! Then I'll be able to go to blogskins.com and look for prettiful skins for this page...be able to do html with it (no way I'm doing html in college, college on its own is stressful enough already).
Uh...basically can have all the benefits of having Internet access la.
My very nice synthesizer teacher is going away Sunday night. :( To the land of leprechauns and shamrocks. Not Dublin, by the way, but Belfast. Kekeke...
Thank you so much, Kevin Tan, for helping me all these while with the Karma, and being so patient with me in those initial months when I couldn't read chords for peanuts and always bugging you to teach me how to read them properly. Yes, even through the internet. And thanks for all the advice etc. That was when I really realised that hey, God sees the heart.
And have fun in Ireland. Come back an OB/GYN (hahahaha I still have trouble digesting that ambition of yours) and help women out there.
Sigh. People leave all the time. Like what PC always says, the students turnover rate is very high, and very fast. 'Volatile', she said.
Ha 1am's going to reach Kuching tonight! Make the concert and workshop happen, people! :)
I will have the world know that my second post, which is currently sitting beautifully below this third post, was the result of at least 30mins worth of editing, copying, and pasting.
I don't know whether it's just me trying to get used to the blogger interface, or is it just the blogger interface that really sucks.
I had problems bolding some of the sentences, enlarging theirs sizes etc. One 'bold' affected the whole post. And some parts of the post somehow or the other didn't manage to appear.
And then when something went wrong, they told me my font html tag wasn't closed. I scoured the entire html for the post and didn't find a single friggin' font tag!
I think I'll just stick to simple posting till I get used to this interface. That is, if I even bother la. Which I will. Eventually. :D
And will someone please tell me where I can get nice templates for this blog? Or do I get it the same way I used to a million years ago when I blogged on D-land? Through some special sites that give you templates.
And what can I do about my 'comments' page? It looks weird.
In general, where do I edit the html for the blog?
Lyne told me last time when I first started using Multiply (or maybe it was Edison, I can't remember) that it was rather complicated to get used to. Hah? What talking them? Multiply (so far) is the easiest site-thingy I've ever used! So simple!
Help.
Hah. I finally got into Blogger. After about a million tries and 'refresh' button clicks, the crappy internet server here in college has finally given me access to this page.
Today was a wonderful day to sleep in. You know, those nice rainy mornings that make you just want to bury yourself under your (imaginary) 400-threadcount Egyptian cotton bedsheets and sleep the day away? But no. Retail design class beckoned me to wake up (late) as I frantically tried to make the bus only to miss it.
But no! God is good! I saw my classmate waiting for transport from another friend and tumpang lor... :D
My ex-housemate Jaclyn came back to college today, after being stranded in Penang because of the haze. Omg. She lost a freakin' load of weight okay! 16kgs, to be precise. And she is striving to lose another 5-10kgs!
I have this feeling she's less than 60kgs already. Which means she's lighter than me! No..... Carol you whale/blimp/whale.
I don't get it. People just manage to have this intense desire to lose weight. So they do everything within their power to do so. Don't eat. Eat once a day. Eat rabbit-food. Drink disgustingly slimy, green-coloured-looks-like-something-the-dog-brought-in drinks. Basically just torturing themselves la. Siaw wan. How can you deny yourself the pleasures of eating?! I mean, it's food okay?
Then there are those friends who go overseas and just suddenly lose a heck lot of weight too. Weight that's accompanied them through their life just disappears like *that* and when you ask them what happened they go, 'Dunno. It just disappeared la.'
Just disappeared?! Whaddya mean just disappeared?! What, you woke up one morning and oh, you lost 20kgs?!
Bah.
This is sad. For those of us girls (generally, it'd be about 99.99% of the female population), we're never satisfied with our weight. Come on lah, I've got classmates who are stick-thin and I still hear snippets of their conversations that go 'Aiyah I'm so fat lah I need to lose weight.'
LOSE WHAT WEIGHT?! IF YOU'RE FAT THEN WHAT AM I?! THE LOCH NESS MONSTER?!
Gah.
I think, though, that I'll stick to being me. Which means I'll eat what I want (within reason, of course. So I shall refrain from more yummy Hongkong Ramly burgers bought at 1.45am like I did yesterday) and drink what I want, play as much badminton as I want and just feel happy.
Of course, if I could lose about 10kilos I'll be a very happy and contented girl. And if I could get rid of my thunder thighs.
Or maybe if you were to offer me a car/new phone/PDA/some other drool-worthy gadget I'll get down to 50kgs. Seriously. JUST FOR YOU!
Was my thinnest at Form4 and then I was about 57kgs. What's happened since then?
Let's just say that I've had a love/hate relationship with my sweet-16 photo albums ever since.
So this is my very first post using blogger a.k.a blogspot! :D Ahaha...this is mildly interesting lah.
I thought that for those curious souls out there, you just might be a teensy bit interested in why I've started using blogspot.
Hanna keeps insisting that my Multiply journal is not a blog. Okay. Whatever. :D I want people (as in strangers) to comment on my posts. And on the things that I write.
I have to admit this: I have been rather caught up by all these blogging that's been going on for sometime. So yes, it's my turn to join the blogosphere.
Referring to no.1, yes, I have another journal. It's in multiply, and can be accessed here. But considering the fact that I only allow my 'contacts' in Multiply to read it, there are only a selected few entries which is accessible to the general weblic. (a skewed version of public, anyone?)
Seriously? I have no idea how to do this thing. I mean, suddenly I feel like I'm under this pressure to put up some awe-inspiring, thought-provoking, hilariously funny post. And I'm sure anyone will testify to the fact that you just can't work under those conditions, darn it!
So yalah. I'll just write whatever I want to write, hence my blog being 'outspoken and loud'. You can say what you want, but hey, it's me.
I'm off..tata...here officially ends my first ever post! :D
Cheers.
p.s. Goodness I am so going to laugh at myself in the coming days when I read this again...muahaha...
