Yeah, I'm back from Cameron. But more on that later. Serious post ahead.
About two years ago, right after SPM, I was in a serious dilemma. I knew what I wanted to do, but I didn't know where to pursue it. At that point in time, I had my heart set on going to RMIT Melbourne to study fashion. I had everything planned out - where I would stay, how I would juggle the finances, what I would do after completing my advance dip.. etc. Heck, I even had my acceptance letter from RMIT.
But then, God spoke. It happened during the EmBaCY camp in 2003. I was really confused because my parents weren't too enthusiastic about my brilliant plans. They didn't think that I was ready to walk into Big Bad Melbourne all by myself, without any relatives there etc. To make things worse, the Aussie dollar shot up into the stratosphere.
But one night, the last night, if I'm not mistaken, the Holy Spirit really swept powerfully through the room. Most of us were struck down, and I recall lying down there on the floor, crying, asking God what were happening to my plans.
I didn't want to study in KL then.. I mean, hello? KL vs. Melbourne? Of course Melbourne hands down, right? But then I heard that still small voice saying:
Three years in KL, Carol, and that's also all you have left with your grandmother.
I was terrified. Three years? That was all I had left with my much-beloved maternal grandmother? In that moment, my mind was made up. If three years was going to be all my grandmother had left, then I would be as close as possible with her - in KL.
It's my third year, everyone. My final year in college. And I am being reminded that if what I heard wasn't just some figment of my imagination, this is the last year of my granny's life.
Especially during this CNY. She is so, so weak this year! She couldn't even make it to reunion dinner, nor for the Cameron trip, she eats just a few tablespoonsful of porridge... just so weak! And when I saw her just now, I was so terrified.
Lord, you said three years! This is just the beginning of the three years! Are you pulling her away so quickly? I'm not prepared yet, Lord, I've barely gotten over the death of my paternal grandmother!
Could I please just have some more time with her? I really don't know how prepared I am to face another death, more rounds of care, another still white body lying in the casket. I really don't know if I can do it.
At the very least, Lord, remember what my greatest wish has always been? I just want granny to be able to see me graduate. That's in January next year. Can? At the very least? And maybe one more Chinese New Year where she's in good enough health to have reunion dinner with us? Could I please? I know You can do it!
I really, really don't know if I can go through this.
Remember a post I put up awhile ago about a challenge for me to dedicate two years of my life to God?
Hope clicking there refreshed your memory. But anyways.....
I made that decision. Yeps, that's right, I decided to dedicate two years of my life to God, which basically means I'll be single for the next two years. Muahahaha!
I also decided to call this The Two Year Club
Jokes aside, the main reason I wanted to do this was because I realised, what is two years of my life dedicated to the One who gave me His whole life?! Who am I to be so selfish?
So yes, these next two years, my heart is set on God. And yes, I realise that being the emo-person, incurable romantic etc that I am, there are bound to be times and people (read: guys) who will challenge my stand on this. But I will not be moved, because He who seeks to save his life will lose it, and he who gives up his life for Me will gain it. Matthew 24:11, I think.
I look forward to this adventure, this challenge that God has in store for me. And I know that through this period that I'm being moulded into a woman after God's own heart. And also moulded into the ideal partner for whoever it is. (The lucky guy!) Lol. Heheh....
Erms, so don't be naughty yah, I don't want to do anything silly so don't encourage me to be silly okay? Two years is quite some time. I'll be 22! Eeek!
It's worth it, really.
Oh, I'm not alone in The Two Year Club by the way. I have a support team! Which means we are supporting each other throughout this journey! Let's see, Judy, Lizzie, Bern and Max, so far. Maybe more to come? :)
Well, here's a toast (Yum Seng!) and some Lo Sang to The Two Year Club! Happy CNY! :D
Happy Chinese New Year everyone!
I'll be going up to Cameron Highlands with family tomorrow. Various cousins, aunties and uncles. We'll be having a ball of a time, eating steamboat in the cold weather, playing games like Taboo, Cluedo, and Pictionary. My cousins will take the opportunity to torture me, I'm sure, and make sure that I am humiliated beyond words...okay I was kidding.
For those of you mischievious quarters, I'll be staying in a country cottage, quite private and accessible only via a small road (I think). Unwelcome visitors will be eaten up by vicious guard dogs... ;) So don't go about getting any ideas in your heads. :)
I'm looking forward to celebrating Chinese New Year! My grandma's not feeling too well though, but NVM! All is well, and I thank God that she's still here.
Well, enjoy yourselves, everyone! Don't be too much of a glutton, and collect lots of ang pows! As for those of you guys who are giving ang pows, well, have fun le. Give and you shall greatly receive... :D
I missed my flight.
And I see Edison laughing.
We now leave tomorrow, and our combined cost is oh, about 400% of the original? Man. This sucks.
We also lose all our angpow money this year. Good lesson. I see you smiling.
The airport got to know us, mainly because my parents were screaming at us. Not that loud, really, only about 200dbs, that's all.
I'm devastated, but at least I get to go back.
Uhms, and please, everyone, no need to say anything d okay? We've learnt our lesson. I've leart my lesson, and had some very harsh (and deserved) screaming from my parents. Enough liaw. Please don't bring this up anymore alright?
I'm angry at myself, and we all know that the scolding one gives themself is easily the worst.
And yes, this is tale that would be remembered for the years to come.... I can see myself telling my kids to please not miss any flights. And to be more time-conscious.
Argh cannot tahan, MUROBOND lah! Don't ask.
But on the other hand, maybe I can complete that unfinished business I mentioned earlier. There has got to be a reason for this.
Short note: This has got to be the first time I'm not prepared to go back to Big Bad KL.
I bummed today, big time, because I'm currently hooked onto the CSI: Season 5 that my godsister lent me. I completed 11 episodes yesterday and today, thanks to the convenience of a laptop and headphones. *hugs laptop* And all these in the comfort of my bed in my room and my multiple pillows! :D
I managed to catch Edison and Ping this evening, mainly because that silly boy (heh) left his charger in my car. So since I'm a wonderful person, I drove to his house to give it back to him. Caught him eating dinner and ended up yakking with Ping and him for awhile before leaving to pick Cuz. I'm going to miss (Argh! What am I saying?! Oh no!) that bugger but word has it that he'll be in Kuching for some time. Hrmmm.
The city's going to collapse from noise pollution.
Picked Cuz to go practice before heading home to enjoy the crabs prepared by my dad.
Picked him up again after practice, with Lyne, then went to meet Max to collect my house keys as well as hand over the L.I.V.E book responsibilities.
At my place, the boy received a phone call stating that the super barista was needed to make more potions drinks for the customers so we went off to Tao.
Cuz made me a bar special but it wasn't on scholarship.. :( :P It was.. uh... called something that didn't mean anything. Lyne's was First cut is the deepest and I can't remember what mine was for the life of me. It had loads of coffee (which probably explains why I'm still bright-eyed and chirpy) and was supposed to have a bit of alco (Irish cream?) but I couldn't taste much. Unfortunately. But thanks anyway, Cuz! *hugs*
Yalah so after everything I sent them all to Max's place because I really couldn't drive them home. Had to come back and pack.
I go off tomorrow. I wish I had done more back home this time, but because I was working, I couldn't really meet up with everyone I wanted to. So here's a short little thing...
Jason: I do, do wish we could've hung out a wee bit more. But you were oh-so-tied up with work, plus you didn't want to puke anymore at the Euro fair (haha!) so I guess.. oh well. Next time! And this time, please bring back those chocolates from the Cadbury factory in Tassie that you kept telling me about. :P Take care, O Loud and Noisy one. :P
Feli: Once really wasn't enough, but things didn't really go as planned. I promise you much, much more time next time around k? Great job with the Blogger's meet, and yes, you can use that picture we took then for your Pixart album. ;) *huggies!*
Ben: Benny!!!! :( You come back weird time for CNY, then when you were back end of the year I wasn't around. :( But at least you didn't get to bully me HAHA. Enjoy Sabah, see you next time k?
Ian titi: Thank you a million million million times over for my Full Metal Panic! Season 3!!!! You're the best lah, bro. Oh and the Honey and Clover! But I wish I could have the whole season. NVM! Next time! And I'll pay you! :D *hugs*
And everyone else is either in KL, or in another time zone. So I guess that'll have to wait. :)
Well.. I just completed the burning for the remaining episodes of CSI. I *heart* CSI. Download! :D
The plane leaves in exactly 6 hours and I don't think I'll be seeing Kuching for the next one year. And if I do come back before that, it had better not be something bad that forces me back.
KL... I'm returning. I'm happy, but I feel like I have unfinished business in Kuching. However, I'm glad that I can return to the place where... I guess I feel I really belong. And no, I don't mean the big city. I mean....
Yeah, I mean them.
I'm sad. I'm crying.
Why, tell me, why must family be apart during Chinese New Year? Forget the festivities, forget those noisy firecrackers, Chinese New Year is about family. So why can't we be together and just please try to be happy?
Ne ne wouldn't want us all to mope around and be sad. She wouldn't.
I want to be with family this New Year. And that means my family in KL and my family in Kuching. I don't want us to be separated. But things aren't going as planned.
There's no sense whatsoever in having to call your parents to wish them Happy Chinese New Year if things can be helped. Unless I'm stuck in southern Mongolia or somewhere equally remote, I wouldn't let that happen.
People keep asking me, why am I not going to be in Kuching during CNY?
I want to be home, darn it, I really, really do! CNY in Kuching is... a familiarity. It's something I treasure. But this year, inevitably, will be different. I wouldn't be able to go anywhere to visit, because Chinese custom dictates that the first year after a funeral, you don't celebrate CNY.
Please, guys, understand. I want, but I can't. Ben, Jess, G, Jase, Edi, Feli, and all my other much beloved friends, I want to be here. I miss all of you guys a lot too, especially those I don't get to see much so how? I wouldn't get to see you guys for some time - a year at least this time, if all things go as planned.
And besides, my other grandmother's in KL. How can I not be there with her, with them, after all that's happened here? One year is an awful long time you know. Anything can happen in a year. And God knows if I had known that last year's CNY would've been Ne Ne's last celebration, I would have done a million and one things differently.
But it's all too late now, and I can't change anything. But the future's still in my hands. I can still spend this New Year with my other grandmother, who would also be mourning the loss of her sister. But at least I'll be with my grandmother.
I'm scared, really scared that if I don't spend CNY with my grandmother, I might not get a chance next year. Call me anything you want, but I'm not taking any chances.
On the other hand though, if my parents aren't around as well, what's the point?
I don't know what's going to happen. I'm all choked up over this. I just want this to be over and done with.
Don't cry, Carol. Or it'll be the second time today.
Fasting from the Internet
Yes, you read right. :P
The church (ECF) started our annual 10 day fast and prayer on Friday. Since I didn't know about it beforehand, I started seeking God about what I should fast from.
Food didn't seem much like a sacrifice. I mean, it's just food. Though I love, love food, it isn't exactly something that distracts me from the pursuit of God, you know what I mean?
I really like what King David said in 2Samuel 24:24 "...I will not present burnt offerings to the Lord my God that have cost me nothing,"
And in the same way, I don't want to just 'fast' from something which isn't that hard, or requires that much of a sacrifice.
The Internet (and this blog, haha) takes up a lot of my time. And I can safely say that in itself, really distracts me from God. Distracts me from spending time with God. From talking to Him. From listening to Him. From understanding more of His will for my life.
This decision is worth it - so worth it because by doing this, I'm starting the year right. And because I'm serious about my relationship with God, I will do whatever it takes to draw closer to Him. I trust that in these 8-10days or so, He will reveal many things to me, allow me to catch a glimpse of the plans that He has for my life.
I trust that I will have the wisdom to make important and neccessary decisions, and most importantly, that His name will be Glorified and lifted high because of this little step of obedience that I'm taking.
Until then, pray for me. Please pray for me because this isn't going to be easy. And uh, sms me. Call me. Whatever. I still need a social life, you know? :P
Oh and by the way, the fasting and prayer guide can be found on the church website. It can be downloaded, if you are interested in these whole prayer and fasting thing. :)
Til the next time we meet! Or I blog. Whichever comes first. :D
Don't forget, Bloggers Meet on 21 January! :)
I thought I'd just advertise this here:
There's going to be a Kuching Bloggers Meet!!!! The details are as below:
Date: 21 January 2006
Day: Saturday
Time: 7.30pm
Venue: Hornbill Cafe (That yummy steamboat place I coincidentally have been craving)
Price: RM 16 per person. (All you can eat lei! Come with an empty tank!)
The map is available here
But then right, if you are from Kuching and you don't know where that place is... tsks.. shame on you... :P
So go! Make your way there! It'll be cool because though Kuching has quite a lot of bloggers, we've never actually 'met' before.
Besides, a little bird told me that Kenny Sia will be there.. :D
Now if only someone can please persuade Huai Bin of Sixthseal to come...
I am, officially, pathetically sick.
I sneezed off half my nose this afternoon while teaching, much to the amusement of the students. Little 'sneezes' started popping out not too long later as they imitated me. Meanies.
Stumbled home at 5pm plus after buying some beloved Febricol from the pharmacy. Crashed and slept like mad until Roy called me to give Jia Wen the synthesizer numbers so he can play around with it. Will be going by later to see how it goes.
I feel horrible la.. all hot up and down, with the red, sniffly nose.
I hate being sick... sigh...
Aww, look at Pepper sitting by me. I love that little doggy, though he might well have caused this ailment of mine. ;)
I'm sick.
I caught a nasty flu bug this afternoon - it was either Pepper's fur that aggravated my nose, or the extreme cold in the classroom. Therefore I'm sneezing pathetically.
However, that did not stop me from going to the Euro Fair in MJC where I sat on two rides, and spent money trying to win the cutest cow plushie on earth (it was holding a daisy in its mouth!). I failed. Miserably. *Cries*
The rides are quite fun, and the fact that was I out with friends meant that I didn't have my mum there to stop me from getting on the rides. However, two was the most I could take because I conveniently 'ate' a lot of air while screaming, and ended green-faced.
Didn't puke though, unlike Jason Wong, haha.
Going back sgain some time just to take in a couple more rides (NOT including Extreme, that crazy free-fall 360degrees ride), and to try win that cow plushie. Could someone please win it for me too?
Off to sleep, after watching a bit more of Harry Potter IV. Btw, am in a bit of a bad mood swing today. I think it must be the whole PMS issue. Stupid hormones.
Jess Chan is in town!
We went out for a hawker dinner in Tabuan Jaya, checked out the Vincci in Tun Jugah, visited Travillion, and finally ended up in Expert Food Court @ Jln Song. (Where we had more of those yummy chicken wings and delicious 5-layer Teh C Peng.
Jess had the (dubious) honour and privilege to be introduced to Jason and Edison. They have pegged her as one of their own... prawn-talking wise, that is. Watching Jason and Edison is like watching a two-man comedy show. That's why enjoy being out with them. Barring the times when I become their object of torture, of course.
Speaking of which, they briefed Jess on the story. Idiots.
We're going out for a kueh chap brunch tomorrow in what Cuz says (and I know) is the best Kueh Chap in Kuching. Yay!
Speaking of which... I still hope he's fine. Awww... *hugs an unseen Cuz*
*Looks at drenched self*
*Picks out stray bits of fur from hands, and glances at the carpet stuck to shirt*
Bathing my dog, was a sopping wet, exciting, stressful, soapy experience.
Pepper gave me such a hard time bathing him today! He wasn't as docile and peaceful as last week when I bathed him. No, this time, he was determined to get as much water, soap and fur on me as possible.
He wriggled everywhere, squirmed lke a worm, and worst of all he did what all wet dogs do - shake his water and fur all over the place in MY HOUSE! At least the dining area. The new daily helper had just mopped the floor and now - now I have to do it again.
*Looks at Pepper in the carpark*
*Ignores the little whines from him as he begs to be let in*
Next time around, I'm entering the warzone better prepared.
Highlight of the day:
Me to Pri5 boy: Do you know what 'ibu negara' (capital city) means?
Pri5 boy: (in Mandarin) Erm.... my mother's country?
I burst out laughing for awhile before composing myself and explaining the word to him.
Oh the amusement that comes with teaching kids.
Today was a hectic day which involved doing admin work at my mum's office till 5.45pm, rushing home to cook dinner for the family, bringing rice for my mum who was still at the office, and going for music practice, for which I was half an hour late...
But a plus point was that today, my mum didn't think my food was tasteless (she likes salty stuff! more than me!) and that I got to have yummy chicken wings at Expert Food Court @ Jln Song! :D
Lizzie, I'm worried lei. Not so much because of the sms I got from you the other day, but more towards the fact you didn't reply my smses and calls. Is everything okay back home?
Another long day tomorrow.....
I was challenged awhile ago to contemplate giving two years of my life to God. As in stay single for the next two years. Well, I'm pretty much sure I'll be single (ha!), plus, I've been that way for the past 4-5 years so.....
But for some strange reason, it seems like such a hard thing to give up! But then he said, 'If it's not hard letting go, it's not worth giving up.' Which is true.
Wonder if it's in God's will for me to do so.....
But I am such an incurable romantic that the idea of it just seems scary and threatening. But then, if during this period, I grow and grow, as God moulds me, changes me, wouldn't it be worthwhile in the end? To be able to be the right one for the other person? It's not like I want to waste my time on meaningless, short-lived relationships anyway.
I suppose I need to really learn to think long-term, and not be so short-sighted in my view of the situation.
Whew. What a conversation.
I'm sure you get what I mean, Lyne. ;)
I stand firm to what I've always said: In every misunderstanding and conflict, both sides are at fault. That is for sure. Though one party may feel more wronged than the other, I find it hard to believe (if not impossible) that there is any conflict where there's only one party to blame.
And besides, none of us are perfect you see. We all learn from our mistakes. And from that, we teach others to not make the same mistakes. That's why Romans 8:28 says that 'All things work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes'!
And it all boils down to our self-discipline, time management and maturity la. I speak for myself - I realise that I have many many things to change, especially where all these time things are concerned. I mean, if you don't have proper time management, no matter how much free time you have, it's also not of much use, right?
Anyway.
I also find it very sad that a (relatively) good friend of mine is going through a tough time. He puts on a brave face (more or less) but I can see it in his actions, the difference in his attitude, his plans. And like another friend said, his eyes give it all away. They are so... sad!
After all, the eyes are the windows to your soul, remember? It's hard to disguise sadness in your eyes.
I pray for the best in his future... and really want to give him a BIG HUGE comforting bear hug...
Work tomorrow. Early, early. I wanted the other job, but family commitments tie me down here.....
Ehehe.
Dropped by Uncle Mervyn's place today, in time to catch the last quarter of youth. Edison, Jason and Jesmine were there.
Edison has shoulder-length hair. He had his hair in braids when I saw him and looked like a girl, teehee.
Obviously, with this being Edison, and him having been deprived of bullying me for the past one year, it wasn't even 3 minutes before he started abusing me...
Meanie!
Heh.
Went for a drink in HuiSing with them, after Edison went to pick Yiping up (and a F2 guy Jesmine's tutoring, Matthew). My sister was with us. So she got to laugh at me.
But I didn't mind that! I know they abuse me very badly, but I know they don't mean any much harm. Keke...
But I THINK I retaliated some of the shots fired well! :P WhatEVER, Edison! :D
Aiyah, it was such good fun going out with this hilarious bunch of people again, though it was only for awhile. It's been so long! But the obvious absence of Ben lingered...
Miss Ben! The (more)docile one of the bunch.... who bullies me as well.
Meeting up with them again was definitely the highlight of my day. I laughed and laughed the whole way through, because these people are just way too ridiculous, funny, and inane.
Till the next time! :)
Today marked the seventh week of my grandma's passing. Therefore, today marked the last day of the mourning period...
I can wear colourful clothes again!
Nah, please don't take that sentence seriously okay. I know there's more too life than colourful clothing (though I really delight in wearing them).
We woke up early to go up to the cemetery and meet with the other relatives there. Noticed that a tree growing behind the grave could pose a possible danger to the graves of my grandparents (unruly roots, you see) so my dad wants to get them to chop it down..
It's becoming a routine (kind of), what I've been doing back home. Teach and cook. And clean. And somehow, I rather enjoy it. Well, English has always been my passion (one of it) so helping kids to further understand and enjoy the language brings me great satisfaction. Besides, them knowing more English can only do them good la..
I got this message from Bernard today, after I had told him that I was teaching English:
"What's a supplement pseudo adjective suffix?"
=.+"
What the....
I told him it was torturing device used on the likes of him.
The Joys of Teaching, Driving, and Meeting Up With People...
I went grocery shopping for my family today! Since the kakak (who is obviously not coming back) is not around, my poor, overworked mum has hardly had a chance to do anything save for running the tuition centre. Therefore, there's hardly any foodstuff around the house. Which led to me waking up early this morning to send my dad to the polyclinic and heading for the market..... I feel domesticated! And I like it! I like being domesticated! Heh. I wanna cook dinner tomorrow..
Helped my mum teach four Primary 6 kids English today. Teaching is really something I got from my mum - I really enjoy it! I loved explaining things to the kids (not just doing exercises - how boring), like why it's called a dash of pepper and a pinch of salt. Enjoyed teaching them why the plural noun of 'baby' is 'babies'... I believe when they understand how it happens, it helps them understand more, instead of just blindly memorising. What if a word you never memorised appears? How? :)
And let's not forget the joys of driving...
I am so deprived of driving in KL. I love, love, love driving. Alone, especially. Just being in the car, alone with my thoughts, alone with God.. those are good times for me. Plus, I can play the music as loudly as I want and no one can complain.. heh.. I like manouevring around... tackling tricky turns properly... and I don't speed (much) okay! I'm a lot safer now then when I first started.. right now I average around 70-80kph..(that's on the straight roads..) which is decent for Kuching..
Did I mention I get off my 'P' and get a REAL licence in 15 days time? So happy! :P
Met up with Roy, Lyne, Brian and Lincoln today to discuss the outreach thing Roy's church is doing on the 14th January. Am helping out, especially where worship is concerned. Ate in Richmond Place opposite Trinity Methodist Church. Not bad! :)
Discovered that there is a sort-of mamak near my place which opens till late and serves up KL stuff like Nasi Goreng USA, paprik etc.. and roti! Yay...
I think today was eventful la. Good balance between family and friends.
Going to sleep real soon, have to go 'work' tomorrow. That is, helping my mum teach or whatever la. More kids and more fun! Yay! :P
New Year Resolutions
Pretty basic, really. They include being less messy, tidying up more often and not procrastinating as much as I have been doing.
However, above all else, what I have resolved for this year is to ask God for more wisdom.
Wisdom in dealing with my friends. When I think about the two years I've known Shirley and Grace, and how I yearn to see them come to know Christ, I feel like I've failed, in some sense, in leading them to Christ. How, you tell me?
Wisdom in leading the girls. I don't know how to do it! Sometimes, I feel so inadequate. But I know that with God, I can do it.
Wisdom in my speech and actions. As intelligent as I am (ha! :P), I tend to do really dumb things. How many quarrels and misunderstandings could have been averted if I had been more wise in my actions and words? Loads. I look back on all those occasions and deeply regret it.
Wisdom in dealing with my emotions. Sometimes, I allow my emotions to get the better of me, and that really can bring me down. This year, however, I will not let that happen...much. Keke.
That's just some of the wisdom I want la.. Basically, I really want to be in tune with what God wants me to do. I remember that in Bern's Christmas note to me, he asked me to remember that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Very well said indeed.
Draw closer to me, sweet Lord, as I draw closer to you....
Some lone time.....
After returning from Genting yesterday, I proceeded to have some much-needed 'myself' time.
Despite the fact that I am quite a social animaland enjoy hanging out, I also happen to like solitude. And with all the hustle and bustle of Christmas, parents and Lyne, I haven't had exactly had much time to myself.
I sat down at the dining table, and wrapped all my new books. I take great pride in wrapping up my books, because I just feel like I'm giving them - my beloved possessions - an extra lease on life. Embossed plastic! In the process of wrapping, I discovered that I've increased my book collection in KL by six books! All in one month! So happy! :D
I have...
1. Bergdorf Blondes by Plum Sykes, courtesy of Lizzie.
2. Gifted Hands by Ben Carson M.D.
3. The Power of Intercession by Dutch Sheets
4. The Vision of His Glory by Anne Graham Lotz
5. Anne of Ingleside by L.M. Montgomery
6. Rainbow Valley by L.M. Montgomery
Obviously the bookworm in me is overjoyed.
After wrapping up the books, I curled up under my comforter in my air-conditioned room, switched on my beautiful IKEA lamp, and proceeded to read a good part of the night away. And for a few hours, I allowed myself to be brought into the beautiful world of Ingleside and Prince Edward Island.....
I love my times of solitude.. those times when I go away on a trip into another world, where everything is beautiful, and rainbows dip into a remote corner of your garden...
I'm home in Kuching! *excited smile* Land of really good food and wonderful people! But most importantly, I'm home lei...
I have so many things to talk about! New Year and how it was etc, but it would be so long I'll bore you. So I'll break it up into parts alright?
But before all those things start, I would like to make an apology of sorts. I understand that a couple of my previous entries were put up during a time of frustration, sadness, and yes, a little pity-party. It was a very bad time to put it up, I think, considering that some people I know had just discovered this site. It very well could have caused them to have a different impression of me, etc. That was not the original intention.
However, I'm sure you guys understand that this is where I vent... make my feelings known most of the time. Be assured - with me what you see is what you get! Click here to see what I mean. That was written more than a year ago. Anyways, read it la.
But I digress. Getting back on track, what I mean is that like any other normal person, I go through good and bad times. I go through times when I can get severely sad, melancholic and all that. But one of the main reasons most people don't see me then (especially those in church) is because church is the one place I feel truly happy. I just feel so, so happy when I'm there, my troubles go away, if only for the moment. I'm human, so bear with me as I allow God to deal with that part of me alright? :)
I'm home, and I'm happy. I'm happy that I have three weeks to spend with my family, and beloved, dear, dear friends whom I haven't seen in ages (no, Jason, not you! Haha.. Nor you, Edison! Heh.) Plus I get to buy white roses and leave them on my grandmother's yet-to-be-overlaid-with-granite grave...
Loads of thoughts floating around, discoveries I've just made. I need time to sort all these out. Thank you Lord, for the three weeks. Let it be purposeful and use me to the fullest.
